Hold onto it, and cherish it. I do have a massive amount of hope, despite some events that turn me off completely from it. I do not think things will stay like this forever, although I will say I am not actively trying to change it. I have a better chance of just living as if this particular factor does not affect me, and letting things happen as they should be.

Lately I have been feeling.. oh let us just refer to this state the sickness.. Anyway, whenever something bad is about to happen I get nauseous. I do not even know why, I do not even recall what events trigger this feeling I get. I do know however that my gut feelings are pretty accurate. The people I feel them towards, maybe not, but the fact that something will happen.. I always hit the nail right on the head. I think that is somewhat creepy to know about things before it happens; at the same time, I do not care for most surprises so it almost works in my favor. Almost.

What does this sickness have to do with my nonexistent happiness? Well, before the fall semester started I had a feeling that I would remain single, and I did, not by choice. This semester, I see better things.. and a relationship, although I have this feeling it won’t be with someone I care for too much. That I can help, but.. it makes me wonder.

Maybe it’s all just one huge coincidence.

And happy holidays!